Productivity 
*orgasms*
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I’d say there is nothing I like more than being lazy and relaxing, but really, I can easily say I prefer having a wildly productive day and then having a spot scheduled to be lazy and relax without imposing on my goals/progress/time for important things. For years I have been obsessed with planning everything to a tee, setting super unrealistic goals, and telling myself to be a mini superwoman without finding a healthy way to actually go about it. As I get older, I seem to be getting better with managing my time, namely with how I balance the most important things, like school and health. Yet, as finals or some other busy time roll around, I still trash those and re-engage in unhealthy habits. 

I want to actually be that mini superwoman for once, but I know that unless I adhere to a very rigid lifestyle, I’ll never actually feel like I am accomplishing anything. Yep, me, the person who has to perfect everything feels like I don’t do anything. Sure, I can blame my more recent bad habit of using trashy YouTube videos to replace my desire to go on a junk food bender for making me feel lazy (not entirely wrong), but what I should be doing is saying, “cool, if I find something to keep my mind of a bad habit/replace it, I can overcome it.” Knowing thing about myself and transitioning to healthier habits builds a healthier me over time. Living in the bubble of wanting instant gratification really is what’s bringing me down.

So, to kinda combat this, I feel that I need to find a time in the morning to just sit down, reflect my goals, and plan for the day. Maybe I can do some “ritual” like lighting a candle or saying a mantra or doing a quick yoga flow to really solidify those thoughts each day, too. I have no clue, I am not into that witchy stuff, but I just really like the aesthetic. Plus, I always fear I will forget something, so a morning review may be reassuring. 

I’ll post updates if I try to make mini goals. Maybe I will do 30 day challenges to try out new things.

EDIT: this original post (on the old website) preceded my attempts and failures with various 30 day challenges. I will not be reposting those, but will consider re-attempting and re-writing those lifestyle experiments.

Happy reading,
-Beppa

*This is a republished post due to a domain change.*