Monday night I was put in contact with a school who was looking for a teacher to fill a last minute vacancy. Tuesday morning I scheduled an interview, and by afternoon I was given the job and told the school I was volunteering at immediately that I would be leaving. Wednesday morning I took a bus with one of the other teachers from the volunteer school and arrived in Santa Rosa de Copán. Thursday I settled in, and Friday I began teacher prep. Sometimes things happen quickly. My decision to leave Garden School Victoria was by no means an easy one, but as I reflect on it after, it was definitely the right one, and hopefully will continue to be the right one.

The job I accepted is at an international school, meaning that it follows a specific country’s standards, typically US or UK, yet is located elsewhere. At this school in particular, students graduate with an American diploma, Honduran diploma, and have an option to receive a Cambridge certification. It is mind blowing for me since I was essentially given a very legitimate and internationally recognized teaching position when I only just graduated from undergrad. In theory, do I have the credentials and experience? Yes. I’ve been tutoring English for years, have my B.S., and am a certified English teacher. But do I feel deserving? No. The imposter syndrome is strong with this one. I know this job will take a lot of work and I am committed to putting the effort in, but I still look at myself in the mirror and think, “You’re 21 years old! You’ll be one of the youngest teachers on staff! What are you doing???” I know that once things get started I’ll quickly assume my role and settle into things, just as I did with Garden School Victoria a month ago, but it is most definitely overwhelming in many aspects.

The school also works hand in hand with their sister location in San Pedro Sula, so I will be working virtually with the other teachers to coordinate lesson plans. In order to follow the Cambridge requirements (and I believe an American curriculum now too), we all have to be on the same page and ensure both schools are teaching the students the same materials. It feels nice to know I have some support with lesson planning and delivery. Oh, and some cool things about the school– they teach their students Mandarin starting in 4th grade, meaning that by the end of their education they will be trilingual in the world’s three top languages! They also have robotics classes and school psychologists and basically all the things nice American public schools, if not private schools, have. I will also be put into a “house” similar to the set-up in Hogwarts from Harry Potter, so yes, I am loving this. 

I also was given an apartment to live in. It is pretty cute and I am delighted by the town. When I was in Brisas (or Victoria, or Santa Elena, or San Lorenzo, depending what app/map you use), I had to live in a shared volunteer house and felt extremely unsafe when out. I want to say that I knew most of this ahead of time, and accepted that as the terms. The only thing downplayed was the safety situation, but I personally don’t blame them since they needed volunteers. Now having my own place somewhere safer, I realize how much tension I was holding as well as how much I missed certain luxuries. I have a working shower now so I don’t need to take bucket showers. I have my own bathroom and kitchen so I don’t have to wait for others or feel like I’m in the way. I have good internet access and the town is not nearly as hot given we are higher in elevation. I was not catcalled a single time since arriving and a fellow teacher said it’s safe to use your phone in public. I almost cried from the overwhelming emotion of feeling secure again. You don’t realize what a toll that stress takes on you until you leave it (the sexual harassment, that is, I could manage fine with bucket showers, it was just a bit inconvenient). I am lucky and privileged that I even get opportunities like this, not to mention will be able to return home and continue on my life just as before when most people don’t get that. Speaking of safety, some things happened in Brisas that also influenced my decision to pack up and leave. One incident was at the school, but thankfully they took care of it immediately without my asking for it. Another incident was particularly jarring, the type of thing where you think to yourself, “No no no no no, this is not happening right now, I don’t want to die here, in this way.” I was pretty shaken from it, and admittedly still am, so the physical distance from there is helping me. I don’t hold it against anyone (except that one dude, excuse my language but he can go to H-E-double hockey sticks); I knew that where I was going to be held risks and I accepted that… buuuuuut, given the opportunity to live in a safer spot as well as have a job that will give me the professional experience I want, I couldn’t turn it down. 

So yeah, that’s what’s been new with me. Oh, and I also signed up for the GRE for early October, so that’s a thing too. The possibility of grad school is looking up right now, and I just need the exam for financial reasons. Fungi? Fungi! But yeah, I just wanted to write a little update in case anyone wonders what happened, as well as have this to look at for when I feel bad for leaving a volunteer position for a job. I genuinely want to help the kids in Brisas further, but I think that it was meant to be a stepping stone in my journey. Ugh. Even that feels selfish, but as a friend told me, “You are not such a tool to help others along. You have a right to your own comfort and your own development.” 

Happy reading,
-Beppa