2024 was a doozy of a year for me, and not in a particularly heartening manner. In some ways, it’s a marvel that the sun came up on the first of the new year to see me still breathing and in one piece. Yet despite the ups and (mostly) downs, I am committed to bettering myself. Maybe in the past I would start a year with plans of grandeur– things like waking up at 5:30am to take virtual Spanish and Japanese lessons or reducing my calorie intake to a simultaneously laughable yet scary point. But with dawn of 2025, I realize that the things I need to work on are very different now.

I want my spring semester to be focused on lab work and have slow, restful downtime. I won’t even plan what comes after yet. Maybe summer will have the same goals, who knows? I have to be okay with not hitting the benchmarks I used to be able to reach. If I push myself too far, I’ll fizzle rather than shine. I think I’m at a point where recovery will actually be the thing that permits me to be myself again.

In past lows, I found that journaling was really helpful. A bit back I actually tried a truncated version of this by keeping track of one thing that made me happy per day [here]. It weirdly worked, more in the long run than short, but still it was a net positive overall. I think it’s time to do the same. For the month, I’ll write down things that made me happy in my phone or planner and will periodically update this post. At the end of the month, I’ll reflect on both how January went, as well as if this process helped me at all again. There may still be a lot of woes, but it’s too easy to focus on bad, right? So, feel free to enjoy, well, my joy.

January 2025

1. Post-pizza date listening to funky music while putting up crooked shelves in the living room
2. Reading a silly book we got as a gift aloud with Alex before bed
3. A cute new outfit for cafe writing time and a quick workout
4. Eating Culver’s in the car while listening to a Dropout show
5. Being über-cared for while sick
6. Ice sword fighting on the porch!
7. Resting and finding time to paint and relax
8. Starting a cozy new book
9. Crunching a huge area of ice with my boots
10. Hot pink, shiny packaging that lab reagents came in
11. Crying over a bittersweet moment in the book I finished today (twice)
12. Thrift store shenanigans and people-watching some folk trying to get inside a closed book store
13. Monday night sushi date (with a really good deep fried roll?!)
14. Trying a new recipe for shrimp cabbage rolls and sipping a fancy soda while cooking
15. Analyzing new microscopy data for the first time since the move
16. Finishing a Pathfinder campaign (Outlaws of Alkenstar)
17. New Bad Bunny album
18. Incredible hike at Sharp Top followed by tasty burgers at a small town diner
19. Going through all the LUTs in imageJ just to see what the colors are
20. Eating Doritos with chopsticks while watching a bootleg of Nosferatu
21. The feeling of a smoothie on a sore throat
22. Mysterious picture frame with Francis I of France
23. A really great sunset
24. Making a killer breakfast (Turkish eggs) AND dinner (goat cheese, fig jam, chicken, and caramelized onion sandwiches on sourdough)
25. One of my orchids bloomed for the first time in a couple of years
26. Getting selected to give a talk at a conference (this’ll be my third I think?)!
27. Starting a new Pathfinder campaign with a new character
28. Filling Alex’s car with a ton of balloons
29. Spending time with Kirmy (my ball python)
30. One of my fungal samples grew in the shape of a heart
31. Free Taiwanese food and trying calligraphy

Now that the month has ended, I get to think about how this little exercise affected me. Overall? I’d say it was a net positive, albeit a small one. The sad part is that one of the most positive effects it had on me was feeling like I was getting something done every time I added to this post… oh baby, the illusion of productivity.

That being said, having a reason to log on and work on things actually did serve as a reminder to spend even the smallest amount of time developing myself. For instance, days I updated this post, I often completed a Duolingo lesson or remembered to read. I actually finished two books this month and started a third. Usually I read about one book per month, so this was a good improvement.

I also found that, similar to the last time I did this, it really helped me frame the month in a good light. January was really focused on getting back into experiments and staying productive in the lab, so it’s nice that my takeaway is more focused on the stuff outside of that.

Overall, it’s been tough being mindful lately. I think that going into February, I’ll be making efforts to slowly get back into my interests and try new things in small ways– no use in rushing myself during a time like this. Also, I hope that despite the current events or whatever struggles you carry right now, you’re all still making it through, too.

Happy reading,
-Beppa